he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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