No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
