I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
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