What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
love makes seman taste better
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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