I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
