you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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