Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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