you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
