SEEEEXXX PLEASE
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize