her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
