I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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