he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
