man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
