Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
