dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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