I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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