you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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