I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
