You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize