My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
