I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
