I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
