WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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