I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
