New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
