she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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