I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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