sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
