She said her name was "party"
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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