Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
