thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
