I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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