That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
