yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
dude. I can hear the air.
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