The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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