is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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