hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
