Pappa wants mamma naked
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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