if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
