this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
