I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
