One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
