how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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