he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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