there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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