today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize