remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
