her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
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Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
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I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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