Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Girls should come with a carfax report
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
