who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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