he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
