dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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