What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
