Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
