my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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