This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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