so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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