i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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