This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
