I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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